Ever learning. Always failing. Forever weak. Yet eternally saved. From a price to pay. Which I could and can not afford. Learning to live life. Learning to love life. Growing into shoes larger than my own. Finding meaning in Your name. Love and peace.
There are many things wrong with us. The strangest thing is that God designed us to be perfect in His eyes, yet we are subjected to parading wherever we go with these fake masks of mediocrity, impartiality and a pleasant demeanour.
Unfortunately, I SUCK at pretending to be ok. I hate pretending that everything is fine. It's shallow, it's a lie to myself and I need to show that I don't agree with something. It doesn't justify any irrational actions done in the heat of the moment. But I definitely don't hide it when I am upset at something/someone.
I hate it when people let me down, or when you place your trust within and individual, just to have them turn around and fail you. Again. And again.
I hate forgiving someone, but having to bear that person's bitterness and anger towards you whilst holding any recrimination and rebuke firmly behind your gritted teeth.
I hate it when people bitch about you in FRONT of you and drag you down into this box, thinking that you are "immature", "incapable", "weird". I hate these labels and this stereotype of mould.
I hate bitterness and the way it grinds you down the more you try to run from it...and the more you get close, the more you are sucked into this empty feeling.
I hate a lot of stuff.
But I love it when Jesus covers all of that for us.
I love it when God reminded Paul and reminded us that his grace is sufficient for us.
I love it when we are reminded by Yahweh Himself that we are so weak and brittle, but on eagles wings we will soar because of the hope we have in Him.
I love it when I learn how to see the beauty in people, rather than attack the mouldy, dark bits that confront me whenever I am close to them.
I love it that my relationship with God is never interrupted by other people and if it is, God WANTS to solve it, rather than let it slide for a bit...
I love God for creating perfect humans, who break themselves, yet fixes us up again for whatever fault we have fabricated. We're not broken. We're not useless and without aim. We don't have only a single goal to achieve before our expiry date. We have an eternal life with this fixer, redeemer and lover after this mess.
I love the fact that God loves me.
Class adjourned. You may go home now. Remember to re read John 3:16 again, children! Learn that God loves you all the time!
Sorry. The mind spoke aloud.
So yeah. I love that Jesus loves me. Even if I do have a mole in between my fingers!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
「€Œ 12:15 am 」 » 
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