V - the story of: OTT
Friday, January 08, 2010

« OTT »

OTT - b. over the limit; excessive(ly); lacking restraint or a sense of proportion

I texted a friend recently. I asked him how he was and how was his situation right now. I really admire him because of his aspirations and for who he is. I haven't known him a long time, but I warmed up to him. I haven't spoken to him in a while, so I thought I'd drop by. But no reply.

The same response, as when I last tried to contact him. No reply.

The first time, I thought...perhaps he's busy. I don't know his timetable very well. Maybe he's a really busy guy at this hour; he'll call back later," I assumed. So I tried again. But no reply.

I recently found a primary school friend, who didn't stray too far from Manchester herself. I was excited to find her on Facebook and found out she lived with my old high school friend at university. Shocked and happily surprised by the odd chances of them meeting, I logged on and found her on Facebook. I asked her how she was and what she was up to, hoping we'd actually catch up. We were never close in primary school, but I guess I was excited to meet someone I knew so long ago.

There was no reply.

So questions buzzed in my head...maybe my internet connection breaks when they want to message back...maybe my phone doesn't function well and exclusively stops their texts. Maybe they don't want to talk. To me.

I hang on that thought for moments too long.

Why do they not want to talk? I thought we were on good terms.

Flashing through previous conversations and meetings like a portfolio, I desperately try to find anomolies or awkward moments, times when I convey myself not in the right light or said the wrong thing. But from my perspective, it's eternally flawed; I'll never know until I speak with them and find out.

Problem is, it's one way traffic.

So I guess I wait for a response.

I'm sad.

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