Second Chance - Hillsong United
On You I throw my life
Casting all my fears aside
How could greater love than this
Ever possibly exist
So I’ll wait upon You now
With my hands released to You
Where a little faith’s enough
To see mountains lift and move
And I’ll wait upon You now
Dedicated to Your will
To this love that will remain
A love that never fails
-----------
It's nearly over.
Yet, the time just isn't enough. I don't know where it's heading, going, how it came to (well...that's a lie! I'm pretty certain I know what I did, here!) and what we can do...I'm still holding onto you. My head is flipped over backwards, inches from my heels. It's the first time in a while and I put my faith and trust in You, Lord, that it'll work out, EVEN THOUGH the timing doesn't seem optimal or even appropriate...
And I'm desperately clinging onto You...because I don't know what You want from me; I don't know what to give anymore. It's alright when I have a mantle on my shoulders, when I know I need to carry it...but when it affects another person...
When I know that it's completely out of my hands and I cannot even speculate its possibilities...when the scenario becomes larger than just the object before me and expands into a landscape from east to the west....And where else can I look? Turn and cling onto the past? Or continue to stare blankly at a wall that remains immovable by these two hands?
I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber.
Psalm 121:1-3
And Lord, I am so sorry for bringing this on myself...I don't know where the positive attitude came from...you could argue I had "faith"...maybe you could say that I was just naive? But in the end, I slumbered...and my guard was let down. And here I am, humbled by this whole thing...
And I don't want to let you go...but all I can do is offer up my empty, ragged hands in devotion to the one who is Mighty To Save...where a little faith is enough, to see mountains lift and move.
So from the gutter of my heart, after I rip through the different sheets and layers from the surface to the core, after introspection and reflection, speculation and yearning, the sinking and crawling on my knees, from the gutter I cry out...Your will and not mine...all of You and none of me...I will learn to submit to Your ways, Saviour who carried me from the depths of life and the despair that ensues with opinion, malice, favoritism, dependency, independence, escape mechanisms, arrogance, impatience, expectation, judgement and a lifetime of searching...
If I have You...what more can I ask for...
All of You and none of me...teach me to learn Your ways.
V
Labels: chance, devotion, second
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
「€Œ 4:42 pm 」 » 
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