V - the story of: yNEEC '08
Tuesday, March 11, 2008

« yNEEC '08 »

I've still got last year's yNEEC as a draft. It's currently 2 A4 Microsoft Word pages long. I'm not sure if I should still publish it...but enough with the past. Let me tell you how the Lord moved this year.

I stayed at Danny Wong's house the weekend before yNEEC. Everything was last minute, including what the theme was, who the speakers would be, who the leaders were. Many things didn't look too "bright". However, we prepared for three hundred people. I arrived in Liverpool on Friday afternoon, so I could pray with the team and compile song lists. The opening worship was so strong, because everyone's hearts were so open and expectant for the Lord.

Me and Danny finally got twenty-five songs. One song that spoke to my heart was "Shout Unto God". If you have heard the original, it's just noise. If you have heard the revision that was performed on the With Hearts As One album by Hillsong United, then you will understand how beautiful they've done it.

Me and Danny fasted and solidified our faith in firm, spiritual concrete for the next four days over that weekend...Good Friday has never been so hurtful in my life. That it was a historical day, where I can retrace each step to experience Jesus' pain...

Sunday arrived. We finally met Roland, Shaun and Rachel, the three Singaporians were emergency replacements for Derek Ma. In fact, Shaun was a last minute replacement for Hosea, who was the original dance co-ordinator from their church, who was meant to bless us. Roland was the anointed speaker, Rachel was the anointed worship leader and Shaun was the anointed farmer, who worked in the background with the PA, setting up things and encouragement, as well the the dance coordinator, whilst gaining little to no public recognition.

Haha...when Danny and I got the band together to practise on Sunday night, she was going through a few things...and wanted to introduce a few new songs. At first, I was hesitant cause it was Planetshakers she was trying to draft in...but we transposed a few songs...then when she opened her mouth...man, I pushed my microphone FAR away. I was like "Woah dood?? You prayed for forgiveness over that? You could commit adultery with that voice, it's so sexy and awesome!!" It was embarrassing for her to sing with me haha. But she worshipped with all her heart and had such a desire to sing out to the Lord. Me and Danny were greatly encouraged by this...that night, me and Danny prayed intensely.

I could go through each day, but I'll just summarize how the conference generally went.

The conference theme was ">conquerors" (More than conquerors) - Romans 8: 37-39

Roland is anointed...he was receptive to the Lord's word and encouraged, rebuked, challenged and loved the congregation in front of Him. His heart desired to see change and mighty warriors rise from those before Him.

Shaun was so humble...despite being a commando from the Singaporian army, he never imposed his physical or military authority on the youth, but very much faded into the crowd and was able to encourage and just engage in fellowship with everyone. He was such a blessing to everyone. He's really good at dancing too.

So...here's the juice...Here's how the Lord spoke to me. I deliberately stayed away from sharing anything, because I usually waffle...and I wanted the Lord to work. This was all about Him, not me. I humbled myself and ran off the stage, ensuring NO ONE would encourage or praise me. If someone turns to me and says "Hey, the worship was great!", then I have FAILED in my job. Only if they turn around and say "GREAT IS THE LORD!!" have I done the Lord's will.

So...for those who want to know MY perspective of how the Lord moved in me:

1) The Lord truly sent a blessing through Rachel. When I needed to hear Him most...He responded. I prayed about worship leading...and I've felt the Lord pulling me towards worship leading, providing the gifts along my turbulent journey. Three years ago, I couldn't sing a melody in key if you held a gun to my head. However, the Lord provided me with a worship mentor in Matt Coulson, who encouraged me to express myself...and at the time, verbally and musically were most accessible to me. I picked up harmonies and how to sing off of Matt...and have had to learn to develop my own voice as time passed.

Moving on from singing...when Mum passed away, I wanted to serve somehow...and I invested into the worship side of youth group and MCCC...but then, before I knew it, my desire to worship led me to OTHER people who had the similar desire...namely, Harriet Lau, Anna Koon and Charlotte Lau. Charlotte dropped out...And it basically ended up with just me on lead vocals and acoustic, Andy Liu on drums and Anna on bass. What little we had there...God multiplied through His own way, bringing in two electric guitarists, two back up singers and a keyboardist. Before I knew it...I was a main worship leader for Church.

At yNEEC '07, the Lord really spoke out to me and said "You love to worship through music...you are a worship leader." And Satan has been breaking me down, bit by bit...till i tried to run from my worship band and pulled out from church's worship leading rota. I was so insecure about leading in church...because I'm so young, believing that I didn't know what I was doing, I was musically inexperienced, my voice just didn't cut it...a whole other bunch of insecurities that cut deeper and deeper when I came closer to Him.

Rachel had a word from God. After I led just one session, I hastily ran off the stage to avoid any encouragement or human praise...but Rachel pulled me aside after the talk was over...and she said that I was anointed...that I had a heart for God and for the people. She said that I was a good worship leader...

The fact that this came from such an awesome worship leader...I poured out my heart to her, and she told me her heart's burdens...I knew that she was from God, for me to know.

I AM a worship leader. I intentionally stayed away from public sharing, because all praise belongs to Him and I am but a disposable pawn in His army. However He uses me, He will use me. But ALL glory belongs to Him. ALL of Him, NONE of me.

2) I saw miracles.

mir·a·cle (mr-kl)n.1. An event that appears inexplicable by the laws of nature and so is held to be supernatural in origin or an act of God:

That's the www.thefreedictionary.com's version of what a miracle means. Basically, as Vinny Keasberry explained, it's "something that cannot be explained".

What were these miracles, you ask?

One of the members in my group was saying in our first group discussion, when asked about his expectation and evaluation of the conference so far, that it wasn't anything special. All he saw were some songs, someone talking...and that was it. He said he wanted to see "miracles"...and how he wanted to see people healed, like cancer removed, like the blind being able to see again. He wanted to see with his eyes...and surely enough, God answered that...not in anyone else, but within the man who doubted HIMSELF. God touched his heart so much...that he shared at the end of the conference that he felt God and knew there was something else...God. You're so funny.

3) That God is proud of me...

I'm a struggler. I'm not good at hiding it and I'm not mentally or physically built to be suited to endurance; I haven't hauled myself through vigorous training to endure this. I just take it...

I love my family. I hate seeing my Dad carry the burden of life on his back over and over again. I've had to learn to step up, pretty much forsake my uni social life and make it a burden to help with the family. My brother is like a thorn in my heart. It burrows and it twists, as I try to hold him closer, he tears more out of me till I can't bleed anymore. I want him to know Jesus and that he's set free from the pain of life; that hope lies beyond his eyesight and the four walls around him. But he picks it up and throws it back at me. My sister's mental schemas means she doesn't NEED Jesus to cope with life...and I can't really talk to her about it, because she doesn't really want a part of me.

Roland shared on the last night...that he had a word from God. That God was saying to us...that we had done well. Even as I type this, the tears of relief and disbelief continue to roll. All I can say is "are You really sure? Can this be really true? Am I doing well for You? Am I really mature enough? Have I done ok for Your name?"

Sometimes...the fight can be so hard to fight. But the only opposition is the face I see in the mirror. I'm searching for the wrong harvest...when I reap from what I sow, I draw from the wrong resource...Paul says in Galatians 6:7+8 that we should sow into the world, to please the SPIRIT...and FROM the Spirit we will REAP. That means we should take from God what man cannot offer...it means I'm not fighting alone...

God has worked so much. I've met so many amazing people.

There's a young girl with such a deep level of maturity, that people would never recognize it unless they opened their eyes and humbled themselves and their way of thinking...if they knew what she went through and what she did as a very young teenager, they would realize God has multiplied these experiences, making her well wise beyond her years.

Jesus has touched and opened the heart of a musical genius. God has shown her that music is the most beautiful thing and how the very philosophy of music and construction is as beautiful and awe-inspiring as nature itself. She is going to do amazing things for the Lord, as worship is an increasing ministry. Her insecurity in her ability will be the Lord's strength, as her heart remains open to new branches of musical diversity.

There is a worshipper who was SO fun to watch, because he was always at the front, giving it everything he had. . If he continues to desire the Lord, the Lord will bless Him with the Spirit and the gifts of the Spirit will manifest themselves, as he draws himself closer to God.

There is a team that was so anointed and blessed, hungry to learn and develop, that they blessed their leader beyond their understanding, even though he is such a dictator and stubbornly refuses help. They will grow on to be greater than him and bless others in the world.

There is a girl, who desires to be a woman, yet isn't sure how the Lord wants to use her, in terms of career, university choice and direction of life. However, the Lord has already blessed her in many ways, that she encourages everyone she meets and that when she puts her faith in the Lord, chasing after Jesus wholeheartedly, then she will be a mighty woman in the Lord, inspiring all those in her ministry and outside of it.

There is a young lady who strives for celibacy, preparing for anything, expecting nothing from the Lord, but wants to serve Him wholeheartedly, shining brightly in the world as an example of purity and refinement, adhering to the Lord's standards, discarding her own wants and desires.

There is an evangelist who wants to drive himself into the word so far, that people will be able to look at him and think "This man is different". With his musical abilities and charisma, he will draw many to the Lord.

There is someone who has given their fears and hurt to the Lord, preparing for give up their emotion and wanting to see salvation live in his family, even if He seems to be the only driving force at the moment. Whilst doing so, he strives with every joule and contraction of his body to encourage and lift up his brothers and sisters around him.

These are just a few inspiring stories. People who you meet everyday on the street, some from the worst parts of teenage culture, some with originally no hope whatsoever. You think the Lord did great things?

We just got started.

V

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