V - the story of: Lifted
Wednesday, May 30, 2007

« Lifted »

I need words
As wide as sky
I need language large as
This longing inside
And I need a voice
Bigger than mine
And I need a song to sing You
That I've yet to find
I need You,
oh I need You
I need You,
oh I need You
To be here now
To be here now
To hear me now
To hear me now

What a turbulent past couple of weeks I've been having. Was at a complete standstill with God, just...not moving much. Exams really suck. However, it has had its highlights as well; namely just the meeting of a few new brothers and hearing stories of preservation throughout this time of CRAP!! Exams = rubbish?? It's like, Satan took hold of that *one* person in the education department all that time ago and implanted the seed of thought into his head, culminating into him suggesting "I know...just for *FUN* let's TEST these people on EVERYTHING they could POSSIBLY learn throughout the entire year! AND for the icing on top, let's make sure that their life and professional careers are messed up, should they fail? *maniacal laughter ensues*"

That David Crowder song is called "I Need Words". What a wonderful song Ches Ches introduced me to. It's about requiring strength beyond our own. Although I'm not in a position to need words as such, I relate to the song's sentiment. I have just been feeling utterly weak the past few weeks...with unnecessary thoughts flitting around in this noggin of mine. Dad springs to mind. So does exams and future. Psch future...can play around with that forever.

I have also brought back a few U2 classics home, like "North and South of the River". Strange though; it's a war song. What the hell am I doing listening to a war song??? Haha the lyrics are just as poignant in this one...

There was a badness that had its way
But love wasn't lost, love will have its day

I wanna meet you where you are
 I don't need ya to surrender '
Cause there's no feeling that's so alone
As when the one you're hurting is your own

Just feelings of inadequacy and reaching my limits, being generally myopic and putting God in a box...God is so graceful even after I realize I shouldn't act so fallen; his message was so gentle and simple. God is a jealous God (exodus 34:14) and His words aren't empty...Isaiah 41:10 -

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
 I will strengthen you and help you;
 I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Yet even if these promises are there, I'm so *stupid* for not being abandoned within them. I realized "Hey...you part of the body. Look at them all around you, clinging desperately to God and forcefully taking the Kingdom of God! See how they're coping? What the HELL are YOU doing just standing here?? Get on with your life!!! STOP holding everyone else back, weak sauce!! Stop *THINKING* and analyzing and improve to no end!!!!!!"

For sure, I need You; my Father God, I need Him like no time like the present. But, I can't just sit here any longer. Restlessness has taken its toll; I'm gonna carry on! Thank you, Tomps, for helping me realize this! Thank you GOD for being so faithful...

To echo Chris Mellen's thoughts, there shall be a new addition to my motto.

Keep *chasing* Him!
Uni. It'll either make or break you.

V


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