V - the story of: i
Wednesday, December 26, 2007

« i »

To the world, I am anonymity,
An extreme and severely dangerous individual;
“Is he weird or what?”
“Is he a loser? Doing that by himself?”
“Oh God, here we go again, he’s in a mood”
“He’s SO unfunny…”
“Erm…what’s with his hair?

With every word I have to stumble and reassess,
With every breath, must I mumble?
With each step forward, external
Opinion and first person perspective
Anchors progress in the ground.

The weight of the world
Sits in tailor carved grooves,
These impressions peppered all over me
Like fierce cancer.

And I shiver in resistance against the weight,
That sweeps through my hair, if it blows
East or west.
It soaks into my clothes, most prominently
Emanating from the brand logo,
“Popular – WEAR ME OR ELSE”.
Acute reactions when words leave my lips,
And are subject to critical analysis,
Regardless of intent,
Despite direction.
When my age will come into direct contrast
To what I do and what I can do.
When I might smile, and engage in
Conversation, they play the card “guilt by association.”
When my problems arise,
And rise to the surface,
Through involuntary physiological reactions,
Also known as a giggle, or tears.
When I express my true self,
Hoping for tolerance, or at the least,
For an impassive filter for it to slip through.

I feel it most
When I am told
“You don’t know how to BE”
And am presented the mould
That I must fit.
And that mould, I struggle
And worm
And writhe instinctively,
Until I am presented with the dilemma;

Is there a way to Houdini my way out
Smoothly, or

Do I learn to enjoy
Constriction of conformity,
Forcefully or conditionally?

“Acceptance was an exclusive membership;
Now open to all, with a small fee
Of yourself
And judgement heaving in floods
To make you a valuable member.
Enjoy your life.”

「€Œ 11:34 pm 」 » Comments:




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