V - the story of: Pieces of me
Thursday, June 07, 2007

« Pieces of me »

A clash of “everything”
With fierce tremors of doubt
Rippling across all I hold true;
Confusion whispering in giggles
On where I stand with You…

Identity, once a tranquil haven,
Crumples.
A clamor, and the ground, broken.
And I’m on my knees, with my heart scattered
As it was found; shards
Dig deep, like thorns,
These new found combinations of memory
And speculation burrows as deep as before…

Yet, my heart burns for You.
You gathered pieces of me
And made me flow
Peace rest
Joy manifest
Life flow In me…

And I’m not prepared;
I am ready
To be tossed in storms
To be crippled in battle
Humbled beneath the ground in which I stand
To learn of our nature
To learn of Yours
To run back to Your arms
Cause I burn for You

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I think I'll call it "pieces of me". Wrote this just now. Had some inspiration from a friend who was feeling as I did. The title refers to when I thought about myself...and how I used to be so separated and isolated from reality, seeking existence and acknowledgment...just a calamity. My heart was just a series of painful memories scattered all over the place...and the consternation of what happened and not knowing who to hold onto.

JC answered that rhetorical question and transmuted it into a challenge.
He picked up my broken heart, scattered everywhere and stuck it together in such a way that all my pain and fear, the sorrow and instability of my life flowed...so that I can still be me. Yet, I can actually have a new heart, so that I can move onwards from stagnation...

This sums my past few weeks. Of containing God in a box...of not knowing the direction in which I am running.
But these empty feelings were discarded as soon as I came to Him on my knees in desperation.

Matthew 11:28 Come to me all who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest

Worship leading. I know I want to lead people to His presence. Yet, am I going to be professional? Or shall I do it on a part time basis like, once a week on Sundays? A question that's been plaguing my mind since NEEC, when God planted that seed into my head.

Extracted conclusions? WAIT ON HIM, IDIOT!! It's not up to me to decide my future. Same with football. Just because turning pro seems unlikely now, doesn't mean I don't continue to improve.

But when do I start? What about the summer? What shall I do?

The answer came straight away.

I'll make myself a slave to Him.
I'm going to breach limits like they weren't set initially. I'm going to be *better*, all for the sake of living a life of excellence and glory for God. Can't wait.

I reiterate. Forget about being PREPARED; He wants to know - ARE YOU READY??

Keep chasing Him.
Don't let uni break you.

V

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